Mindless thoughts for a thoughtless mind

Events of the past week serve to highlight my state of mind, and probably the state of mind of some of the other volunteers here. I say this because one of my best friends from PST just decided to leave early, which I can understand but doesn’t make me feel that great. I talked with him a few weeks ago and though he was fine, but he was put into a difficult situation, as I’ll explain.
The hardest thing about Peace Corps Kazakhstan is twofold. Number one, we are pretty isolated in Kazakhstan. There are a little over 150 volunteers in the ninth-largest country on earth. I have it easy by being on the electric train route with 2 volunteers being within a 45-minute train ride. The fact is that some volunteers, including my good friend, are hours away from the nearest volunteer. Number two, this is not the traditional Peace Corps where you’re in a random little village in Africa where there is nothing. On the contrary, I work in a school that has computers, the internet and interactive boards hooked up to computers. We did training on having limited resources, but that is far from the reality here.
I’m not going to deny that isolation is difficult, but that’s something we could prepare ourselves for. I mean, we signed up for the Peace Corps knowing we’d be far from people. It’s hard to reconcile the fact that we’re providing a service that is not provided in the country when there are a decent amount of resources available. Even worse is when you go to the cities and have to reconcile your preconceptions even more with what you hear and see. Just a few days ago, I was Shuchinsk and me and couple other volunteers went to a bar. While we were having a beer, we were watching Bordeaux vs. Montpellier on a flat screen. Also, one of my students had an iPhone. A fucking iPhone! I don’t know about other volunteers, but when I see that, I have trouble truly believing that I am truly needed in this country. It’s this slow stream of doubt that seeps into your brain from these external factors that combines with the internal factor of being alone. It’s not easy. But it’s moments where you hash things out in venues like this blog where it becomes therapeutic. I think I’m slowly taking the view that other education volunteers have taken. We may not change much here, if anything, but if one kid gets a chance abroad, I guess it was worth it. Expectations can only go higher.